Marriage: When/How to Know It’s Time to Let Go

When it is time to let go.

There are only some parts of life you can change or fix. You cannot correct someone else or their problems. Rather, you can only fix yourself and work on yourself. If the other person isn’t wanting to make changes or move forward, then there is nothing you can do. I have to say that I am all about self-development. I don’t mind going to counseling, etc. So, if the other person isn’t seeing wrongdoings that they did, then it’s not going to matter. I don’t want to be with that person.

I go to counseling to help make myself better, to realize my goals, and to help me understand myself better. We all need self-growth at one point or another. We need to let our thoughts and feelings out so that we can move forward. Again, this is all so great. The other person needs to be willing to want to save or help their marriage/self.

There comes a time when you have to let go, though. It’s going to hurt. It’s going to hurt like hell; like NOTHING ELSE you’ve felt before. You will feel sick every day. You will feel hate and anger. Tears will fall. You won’t sleep or eat. You will overeat. This cycle will continue for what seems like FOREVER. However, it’ll only last for a little while. Eventually, the period will get longer and longer, so you can be stronger in no time.

How do you let go?

I wish I had an answer. A lot of things in my life changed to move forward. I found a support system. I focused on me and my goals, leaned on God + my parents, and opened up to people around me. Also, I worked out and took care of my son. I realized what I had to do to move forward and make myself better all in time.

Don’t think it won’t hurt. You will be better in the long-run; remember, the long-run is going to take time. I used to believe that there was always hope. You know, you think of the love movies, and people come around. Or you hear about your friends getting remarried to the same guy years later. Whatever it is, do not think about it. For it to come back to you, you need to let go and do you. It is going to be the HARDEST action ever. I went through three deployments with my ex, and this is WAY more difficult than that. This stint is worse than mono and childbirth. God prepared me for this through all of those fierce battles.

Stop over-thinking and act on the future. Imagine your future. Where do you want to be? Who do you want to be? How will you go on and take care of yourself? Focus on YOU, and don’t let anything get in the way. What’s meant to be will always find a way.

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I Will Never Understand Divorce

Like, why?

You can always fix something yourself but not if the other person isn’t willing. I don’t know. I’d rather fight for something than give up. Some might not agree. I genuinely believe that you can fight and work through just about anything. Yes, even an affair. But BOTH people need to be willing to forgive, accept, and be there for each other. Both people need to fight. That is it. When the other isn’t willing, it’s not worth it, and the damage is done.

It might be so hard, but trust me. If two people do not want to agree on making changes to move forward, this is when a divorce may happen. It takes a 50/50 effort. You both have to fight and make changes. You both have to take the blame and fight like HELL.

Things change; people change, or we merely realize what’s important. OR maybe our priorities shift. I still think I have a lot of the same characteristics now that I had when my ex married me all those years ago… But now, I have more focused goals such as my career and my son.


Did I neglect my husband at the time? Maybe. But it was difficult. I couldn’t find the balance. I don’t know if finding the balance would make it any better or worse, but we live in the moment and take it for what it’s worth.

I used to think I failed at my marriage, but I do not anymore. You have to forgive yourself. There comes a time when you realize you have tried everything. You recognize that the other person has already moved on and it isn’t worth fighting for anymore. When you forgive yourself, you know that you have not failed and you have been successful at trying. You have to accept that it is okay to let go. Letting go is going to feel like you just had a death in the family. Know that you are strong and can endure.

So yes, I wanted another kid. Yes, I wanted my marriage to work. Yes, I wanted my business to blossom. Yes, I wanted all these things. Yes, I wanted to grow old with my ex. But things change. I never saw it ending like this, never. However, sometimes life happens and we have to be thankful for the steps we took to get there. There is no one to blame; it was 50/50. But I do know that I am moving forward in a positive direction confidently and learning from my past. I do not regret any of this, yet I don’t understand how things could still be this way.

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The Best Memorable Mother’s Day Gifts

Mother’s Day is always near and dear to every mom’s heart. Honestly mom’s only care about the thought and appreciation on this day. I try to not over think gifts for the mom’s in my life, but I love some cute affordable gifts that I can use in everyday life. Since I am doing some re decorating this couldn’t be a better time for some of these adorable items.

Here are some affordable and memorable Mother’s Day Gift Items:

  1. Mother’s Day Gift from Daughter or Son”Happy Mother’s Day. I love you mom. I simply love this because I can put it on my desk, table, or even in my garden.
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  2. Willow Tree Mother and Son Hand Painted Sculpture Figure This is one of the best gifts, I love the meaning behind this figure. I love art and this resonates with me well. 
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  3. Bambusi Cheese Board with Cutlery Set – Bamboo Serving Tray and Charcuterie Platter with 4 Utensils  There is something about a cutting board that I love. I don’t know what it is but it makes me happy! I can’t ever have enough.
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  4. Spa Gift Baskets for Women Lavender – #1 Lush mothers day gift set in essential oils for Relaxation  I literally can not ever have enough spa items. I love taking bubble baths and having a mini spa day at home.
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  5. Knock Knock What I Love about Mom Fill in the Love Journal  This stuck with me the most, I love writing and journaling. This is so cute and adorable to have.  Screen Shot 2019-05-04 at 6.57.46 PM
  6. Andreannie Best Only The Best Moms Get Promoted to Grandma Blessing Cotton Linen Throw Pillow Case Cushion Cover Home Office Decorative Square 18 X 18 Inches  When I told my mom she was going to be a Grandma, I couldn’t find enough Grandma stuff. How cute is this!??!
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  7. EFYTAL Generations Necklace for Grandma Gifts – Sterling Silver Mom Granddaughter Mothers Day Jewelry Birthday Gift  This is so pretty and can be worn at anytime. I love how perfect it is. 
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  8. Aprilis Bath Bombs Gift Set, (4.0 oz x 6) Organic and Natural Bath Bomb, Lush Fizzy Spa to Moisturize Dry Skin, Perfect  Bath bombs are seriously my best addiction. I love these and can not ever get enough of them.
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  9. Mom Quote Chalkboard, Unique Mom Gift, Mom Quote Sign, Mom Wall Art Print, Best Mom Gift, Gift for Mom  There is nothing better than having some great decor for your wall and picture frames. I love this one.. I will be reminded everyday about motherhood.
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  10. VILIGHT Mom’s Picture Frame – Gifts for Mother’s Day and Birthday from Daughter Son – Always My MOM Forever My Friend Wooden Wall Decor  Again, I love having decor on my walls, desk, and dressers so I can not ever have enough of this. 
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What’s Worse Death or Divorce?

I have been thinking about the two of these options for quite some time. When I went through a divorce, my parents told me that this feels like death has happened in the family. I couldn’t help but let that sink in and sit. It stuck with me for a while.

I didn’t think of divorce like death until they made that remark. I wonder why it felt that way. It’s like we all went through the same stages together; you know, denial, anger, acceptance, etc. Once we realized that it was happening, we all felt like it was a death.


While parting ways might not be a real death, losing the person you love from the family as a whole is rough. We didn’t have a wake or funeral, but we know that nothing will be the same. We had to let go of all the good times we shared knowing that those people won’t be together anymore. It’s like you just released. So many people are affected by the process of divorce including parents, siblings, grandparents, children, etc. It can be so hard to add that to the list of worries when separating. It’s important not to take sides or try to make someone else look better or worse. It is what is, as my dad said.

No matter how mad my family was at my ex, they still know he’s the father to my son. They know there are two sides to the story; they understand it takes two. They are aware that we both said and did a lot of wrongs, but I would much rather have a divorce than death for my son’s sake if that makes sense. So, we have to handle the cards that are dealt to us and go through all the stages of life and grief.

Being civil is a must now. You miss out on all the things that you had planned for the future together. The holidays won’t be the same. You won’t get to celebrate together but separate instead. How does that even look and feel? I don’t understand how that is going to be.

It does feel like a death happened. The heartbreak is horrible. And yet, they are still there. Enjoy the new life and don’t dwell on what could have been because life is too short. Be thankful for the divorce and make it amicable for everyone around you.

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College Dorm Essentials

It’s that time of year again where summer comes… and graduation is around the corner. With graduation comes back to school and college. It can be tough to think about what someone might need for college, so I put together a list of ideas that are essential, fun, and creative.

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Ladies Spring Shoes

Honestly the best part about spring besides the fashion is the shoes. Are you with me? I hate wearing socks and putting on boots, I love being able to slip something on quick and fashionable.

There are so many great fashionable shoes, that I can choose from. There is something about the spring and summer months that just boost my self esteem. Does fashion and shoes do that for you too?

Here are my top six ladies spring fashion shoes.

    1. Kali Footwear Women’s Cocoa Flat Thong Sandals Thongs are kind of my favorite shoes.. I love getting them on quick and easy, and can wear them around the house too.
    2. Women Sandals, Shybuy Women Summer Sandals Round Toe Breathable Beach Casual Sandals Boho Peep Toe Wedges Shoes  I love a good pair of wedges. These look super cute, but are also SOOO comfortable!!
    3. Rampage Women’s Santini Cutout Lace-Up Open Toe Ankle Strap Gladiator Sandal  How CUTE are these? Sometimes I feel like I am old because I can’t wear stylish shoes, but these are just amazing!
    4. Rainbow Sandals Women’s Single Layer Premier Leather Narrow Strap These are super sturdy and are the best for beach and waterparks, end of story.
    5. Vionic Women’s Pacific Rio Platform Sandal – Ladies Adjustable Slide Sandal with Concealed Orthotic Arch Support  Again, these are super sturdy and good for vacations. They have extra cushioning on them as well.
    6. PiePieBuy Women’s Cut Out Espadrille Platform Wedge Sandals Ankle Strap Peep Toe Suede Shoes LOVE booties in the winter months, so I am glad to have found these for the summer months with a little more style fo them.


What kind of shoes do you wear in the spring months?

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How Exercising Every Day Changed My Life

I have never been super active, besides dancing. I have always loved dance. My brothers were runners, etc. but not me. I enjoyed the flexibility and creativity. When I had my son over three years ago, I gained 55 lbs. I overate and wanted to make sure he was taken care of above all else.

After the pregnancy, I lost a lot of weight, but not enough to feel good about myself. I was too tired and too lazy to care about my well being. I didn’t think I needed to lose weight until I’d look in the mirror. Once my son started to get older, I wanted to drop the pounds even more, but instead, I found out that I was stressed and would keep eating. And I would eat whole candy bars… in one sitting.

It was sad and embarrassing. I could do that every day. Pre-pregnancy I wouldn’t ever gain a pound, and it wouldn’t matter. Once you go through pregnancy everything changes. I still to this day try to lose weight. It has been so hard and if I don’t see immediate results, is it even worth it? Even when I would see the tiniest results, I would get excited. I started to realize that the weight wasn’t the problem, though.


The thing is…  exercise is more about self-care than dropping pounds or getting toned. It’s true. Those are good perks, but it shouldn’t be the sole reason to do it. I started to feel really good about myself, take a ton of selfies, and feel sexier. I began to feel like I could take on the world! But beyond that, there are so many other factors.

Here are a few reasons why I genuinely enjoy exercising now.

  • Breathing techniques: I can breathe whenever I get stressed because I have the right breathing techniques whenever I am working out. Breathing helps release those emotions and stress that we all need to get rid of from time to time.
  • Flexibility: let’s say that when you don’t work out, you get tired more quickly. It seems as though you can take the stairs instead of the elevator and not feel exhausted so fast. You can sense that your legs can handle a lot more.
  • Stress relief: This is the number one element that most people work out for and it truly works, something about finishing a workout makes you feel so good. You realize that you are powerful and can let go of the issues at hand. You forget about the problems and recognize that you are feeling much better.
  • Routine: my family and I are all about routines. We love being on schedules. I work out at the same time, and it helps the time pass by. It allows me to get tasks done and plan around it.
  • Diet: you realize when you work out you don’t eat as much because you’re getting more toned or smaller, whatever it might be. You put down that doughnut instead of trying to say “just this one.” Why? Because you know you worked hard for your health and fitness goals.

I work out right at home, putting together my own fitness goals and tasks. I switch up exercises daily and keep myself going. It doesn’t matter what you do or how you do it; just do it. Get going and burn those calories.

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Reasons Why I’ll Never Get Married Again

After going through a divorce recently, I decided that I am not ever going to get married again. My dad told me not to say never, but I know in my mind and heart that I won’t remarry. Why? It isn’t worth it to me. I might date, fall in love, or move in with someone but the responsibilities of being married are too high.

When I was younger, I had the perfect picture of how marriage and life had to be laid out. You know, the union forever and ever, then having kids, maintaining a good job, next retirement, and being with that person my whole life. Maybe it is because my parents had that marriage success. Perhaps it doesn’t seem real anymore these days; maybe it’s make-believe. I do not know. Either way, when that dream gets crushed, why do it again?

All I know is that I won’t go through with marriage again. Here’s why.


  • Wedding – waste of money: having a wedding is WAY too expensive. I won’t ever have one, even with the justice of the court. We made a lot of money off of our wedding also, and where did it go? Who knows? Money is tough.
  • Divorce – waste of money: Then, when you decide your marriage isn’t going to work, it costs MORE money. You have to file and pay a lawyer and pay, pay, pay. It’s horrible. So, all that money you saved no longer matters. Besides, when you have to split assets between you and your ex, you both worked hard, and now, both just got screwed in many ways.
  • Emotional: the emotional element is one of the hardest, and I will not remarry for this reason. We get too attached, or I do. I relied on my ex WAY too much because that’s how it works, right? WRONG. Do not ever rely on anyone else but yourself. It is okay to ask for help, but never have someone do something that you can do.
  • Too much responsibility: There is too much involved with another marriage. You have to take care of that person, spend time with them, etc. When you go from married to divorce to single, you realize you can do so much and can rely on yourself.
  • Don’t want to change my name: Ain’t nobody got time to change names to new titles. It’s too much financially and physically, not even worth it.
  • I want all responsibility: I want to be independent and take care of everything myself. Being a single mom, I have done it all now. I don’t want to be codependent on someone again.
  • Financial: This should be one of the first reasons. Even if I got a prenup, you still could lose a lot of money from everything that happens during a marriage. I do not ever want to go through a divorce again and throw away so much money; from retirement to savings to paychecks to the rest.
  • Getting rid of photos: UM hello, empty walls. I am just going to fill the walls with my son and fun, dreamy decorations since that seems to be the best option.
  • Hurts everyone around me: You will lose family through a divorce, and even friends. People are understanding, but they feel the hurt and pain with you if you decide to get remarried, etc. It is just too complicated to try to determine who you are going to keep as friends or family through each step.

Why do we need to have that perfect picture marriage and life? Why does everyone feel hurt and the constant battle to fit that mold? I know I did, but why? What’s the big deal? Who cares if we have kids before marriage or never get married. Who cares? Let’s live life and stop over-thinking it all. People will change and hurt you… maybe intentionally or maybe unintentionally. There isn’t anything wrong with the decisions that you make. Screw up a little and let life throw a curveball at you – it’s fun!

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Wedding Stationery

It’s the season of love. There are so many showers, weddings, and so much more happening at this time of year. It can be overwhelming to get things on track. We are giving you the best wedding stationery and decorations so you don’t have to search for them. The best thing about it? They are all super adorable and affordable.

Wedding Decorations


Wedding invitations

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Social Media Can Ruin Your Life

Growing up we always had some sort of social media – AOL messenger, MySpace, Facebook, now we have a million different forms. Right?  The problem is that people don’t see why social media ruins certain aspects and how it should be used. Social media is a way to connect with friends and people. It seems that businesses run their brands on there and do well.

But when you are on it personally for yourself, yikes. It gets rough. How many freakin’ platforms do you need to be on actively? How many selfies do you need to take? How many times do you have to post the same picture to all the platforms? Why do we feel the need to do all that? It’s annoying. What else is annoying is all the freaking filters that come with it. The never-ending selfies and filters are NOT cute and makes you look ridiculous. I merely am being honest here.

Don’t forget to add in the messenger. You have to respond to people and then like what they say to you and respond to direct messages. What in the world have we become? But then when the moment comes where you need to have an in-person communication, people would rather text the information. WHAT? I am not good with speaking words but can write my words like a boss. So, I get it. But I would write something out, then read it to someone before I can text it.  

I like how phones let you know how much time you spend on social media now; it’s interesting to see how much time you waste on bits that actually do matter. AS a business owner, I have to keep up on all these platforms. But there comes a time when we have to let it go and get off our phones/computers. Business or personal, whatever it is. It needs to stop.

So how does social media truly ruin your life?

  1. Work: There is nothing worse than working in a corporate job and letting them see what you post. One post can end your career. Trust me, I have seen many people have this happen. You have to be careful with what you post and say. Even if your profile is personal, it still needs to be professional. You are not a teenager, don’t post that you are getting wasted. Don’t post that you hate your job. Don’t post that you hate your marriage. It affects your future, career, and personal life. 
  2. Marriage: This one is near and dear to me. People used to be worried about texting or phone calls. Now, there is Snapchat and Instagram where information can be deleted and hidden from your significant other. It can literally cost your marriage and life. Eventually, the truth will come out, and it will be what it is.
  3. Can we just use social media for posting uplifting posts? Can we use it to engage with our favorite businesses and friends? Go ahead and post selfies, but we don’t need your whole newsfeed to be saturated by it. Share with the world something positive and a story with that selfie so someone can relate to it.

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