I never thought divorce was in my future. I never did. Here I am now. However, I realize I have been taking care of my son now for quite some time, so it doesn’t feel any different. The only aspect out of the ordinary is that we aren’t living together, and I don’t have the love I did before. Parenting is challenging, period, but it is especially hard when you are co-parenting or being a single mother.
We try to co-parent, but it has been tough. It’s hard to communicate and enforce parenting skills for both of us, especially with an autistic kid. I want to talk more; it is so difficult for all three of us now to be on the same page. What I have come to realize is that we are all human and need to all take care of one another and be adults. Put all the other stuff to the side and parent. Even though we try to co-parent as much as possible, there are still a ton of struggles and elements that are hard as a single parent.
I love my son, would do anything for him, and always will, period. It has been tough trying to manage and juggle his therapy, life, a business, and adulting. You truly start to see all we take for granted. I have learned how to accept things for what they are and do it myself. I can do everything myself and do not need anyone.
When I knew were going through a divorce, I told my son’s school and asked them to watch for clues that he needed help or wasn’t behaving properly. But he seemed to adjust okay, so we didn’t have to worry about that too much. The main focus is making sure we all communicate.
We are on a schedule and pattern; we keep the flow of things going smoothly. I make sure that we all know the importance of our routine. My son is a very structured person, so when something is off, he can sense it and needs preparation for that change.
We use visuals whenever possible. We started using a chart that shows if our boy is going with dad or mom or school. This measure has been such a big factor in helping us all. I make sure to tell him we are going to daddy’s soon, so it helps him mentally and emotionally prepare for it.
Since he is nonverbal, we must always use a lot of sign language. He is smart and understands so much. If you ask questions, he can respond with a yes or no or with what he wants. He has a strong understanding, and we keep learning and growing. I incorporate at home what he learns at his school so that we keep increasing his progress.
If you are nearly a single mother, know that you are not alone. Know that you can handle whatever life might throw at you, from all the issues in the house to kid troubles to work problems. You have it all under control and can do amazing things.
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