It’s hard to keep your cool and stick to your regular schedule and development behavior when family is in town. I mean you know the saying grandmas spoil kids. However when you have an autism kid and are really trying to enforce things and no one wants to listen to you it’s frustrating.
Parents just brush it off instead of understanding how important the schedule and behavior is. They think that one little time wont hurt nothing, but it does.
I know that I get really mad and upset when my parents can’t enforce the way we do because they are grandparents and want to spoil them. I have a hard time communicating so I get it all, but I also know what needs to be done. Instead of yelling or arguing, here are some helpful tips for you as a parent that will help you remain calm during a time like this:
- walk away: whenever I get really overwhelmed or frustrated, I walk away and let myself cool down. I think about what upset me and allow myself to take it all in. I want to be able to understand why I was upset and how to not regret saying something that I don’t mean.
- ask politely not to do that: explain the importance behind the reasoning and ask to not do it that way. Show/tell what you didnt like and be upfront with them.
- take a deep breath: This goes hand in hand with whenever you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, take a few deep breaths and then let them out through your mouth. This is a great way to release that stress and frustration.
- take the child in the other room and work one on one away from family: When you have an autistic kid, or toddler, they get really distraction and frustrated. Allow yourself to walk away and work with your child away from everyone. This will help calm both of you!
What you can do if you are on the other side .. the family aka grandma. I know that grandparents don’t always understand things but yet want the best for their grand child. So here is what I got from my parents when I was trying to enforce certain things and we got into an argument.
- ask questions: Allow them to ask questions and be open about things. This can be a new topic to them and they don’t quite understand. Write the schedule down so that way everyone knows it and can understand it better.
- follow schedules and directions: Make sure to follow the parents schedule for their child and not let it slide. They have a schedule in place for a reason, so enforce it with them.
- communicate: Allow both of you to chat about what makes your child sad, unhappy, and what his bad habits might be. This can help the grandparents understand more.
What are some things that you have to enforce to your parents (grandparents) for your children?